A Letter to Cole

Cole,

Three and a half already. Where did the time go? No seriously, where did it go because it seems like only yesterday you were just barely walking around this place, giving me and your dad mini-heart attacks as you fell down the stairs. Now you're still giving us mini-heart attacks as your bambi legs carry you to pre-school! Yes! Pre-school (summer session).

You are so silly these days and the teachers at school tell us your the class clown. Can't say I'm surprised because you make your dad and me laugh all day and night long. You even mumble in your sleep - talking about Paw Patrol and castles. You have the best timing with jokes, and even your facial expressions have us rolling.

You are also scary smart. You have your dad's memory already and I can't believe everything that you know. We've been practicing rhyming words, counting, letters... I swear there's nothing you can't learn or memorize instantly... well, except pooping on the potty, but you're trying.

You're so sweet and compassionate. You are always worrying about others and have the sweetest hugs. You're not shy about making friends or telling people you love them. You're so great with Hudson, and I can't wait to watch you teach him everything that you know.

You have me wrapped around your little finger. You've figured out how to give me these little looks, and a "I love you mama" and I'm done. My favorite is when you bring over two fruit snack bags, one for you and one for me. Don't think I don't know what you're up to, but I take it every time!

You are going to do such amazing things. Some days I think you'll be a pilot, others a engineer... but I know you'll be happy no matter what. Because you're a happy kid. Always.

You're getting so big but you still like to crawl in my lap for cuddles... though you're not fitting like you used to since you're already almost four feet tall!

You're all boy with scrapped knees, bruises and a love for all things with a motor. Superman and spiderman dominate your wardrobe, and I think you would wear a cape and mask everyday if we let you. Ok, most days we let you!



You are perfect and your dad and I love you more than you can ever know. I'm scared for the day that I don't get your sweet hugs and cuddles in public because you'll be "too cool"/ surrounded by all your friends... I know you'll have thousands. And no more hitting on the ladies at the park. You're already a smooth talker with your promise of ice cream and iPad games. Plenty of time for that when you're 30! For now, just stay my baby and run to me for kisses when you fall down!

Love you lots and lots,
Your mama

It's Been 74 Days

It’s been 74 days and I still can’t believe I have a son. His pout face makes me giggle, his eyelashes make me jealous, and his coos make me melt. I have this lil’ man in my life who is growing up before my eyes and I still can’t believe it.

It’s been 74 days and I still can’t nap. Luckily I have a 74 day old baby who sleeps through the night. Well, most nights.

It’s been 74 days and I’ve mastered doing (almost) everything with one hand. I can type, cook, make a bottle, clean… all with one hand. You should see my left bicep!

It’s been 74 days and I’ve only worked out twice. My back has been a recurring problem and has prevented me from getting back in shape. I promise this is not an excuse… If you could see the drastic tilt in my hips you would feel bad for me. What does this mean? Besides being in pain and frustrated, it means that this weekend I will be going shopping for some work clothes… something I did NOT want to do.

It’s been 74 days and I’ve finally started to figure out Cole’s different cries. Mind you they change weekly but most days I can tell which is an “I’m bored” vs. “I’m really tired but you’re so much fun I want to stay up” cry. There’s also the “I’m HANGRY – where’s that bottle?” cry and, of course, the ever popular fake-out cry. This one is usually smashed between some smiles and coos… again, fake-out!

It’s been 74 days and in 5 days I have to go back to work. This day always seemed so far away. In the beginning I never thought it would get here… I was anxious for it to get here. Now I’m begging for a few more weeks. A few more days. It’s not that I don’t want to work. I do. I’m not the stay-at-home type. I applaud those that are. It’s just that I don’t want to leave him. My lil’ man. I don’t want to miss anything that he does. I don’t want to miss the first time he rolls over or the first time he actually holds his nuk in his mouth. I don’t want to miss his naps. I love watching him sleep. I don’t want to miss the noises he makes. His grunting when he eats. The squeals when he lies under his mobile. The cries when you put him down to nap… and then how quiet he is when you pick him back up.

I haven’t even left him yet and my heart is breaking.

I know all the people at daycare will be wonderful and take good care of him… but I just don’t want them to. I want to. But I want to work.

I knew this would be hard. Everyone said this would be one of the hardest things I’ll ever do. I didn’t believe them. It’s been 74 days and I do now. 

Chatting with Alfred the Elephant

Cole LOVES his elephant. We put him in his big-kid chair and set Al in front of him and he just sits and chats away. It's very cute but also frustrating if you've been trying to get him to talk to you for the past hour! 

Bragging Rights: Cole slept from 11pm - 6:00am last night! He had two night cries which I woke-up to but nothing big enough to get me out of bed! I know I'm jinxing us by writing this but I can't help it... I'm just so excited! 

Not-Bragging: I have to go back to work next week. I'll be writing a longer post later in the week about this but to say I'm sad about this would be an understatement. I get completely teary-eyed every time I think about it...